A friend of mine has put money on Wally Pfister to win Best Cinematography this year. Not because it's particularly likely — Brokeback's Rodrigo Prieto has got to be the strong favourite — but because she thinks the Academy might get carried away with its much-hyped give-it-to-the-gays agenda and award it to him purely on the basis of his (admittedly fantastic) surname.
It strikes me that quite a few of this year's nominated films might benefit, to those who haven't yet seen them, from at least sounding potentially gay. Pride and Prejudice? I mean come on. It ought to be an ensemble dramedy set in Brighton. Cinderella Man sounds suspiciously like a drag show. And I ask you this: what's the Constant Gardener actually doing out in the garden? Is that his poor wife calling in the kitchen? I suspect some kind of Far From Heaven sneaking-behind-bushes scenario myself.
We can queer things even more by tweaking the titles a bit. Memoirs of a Gay-sha sounds much more entertaining, in a playground insult kind of way. The Squid and the Other Squid would be a shoo-in for Best Original Screenplay. And I hate to be obscene, but Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is doing pretty well all by itself. My personal favourite though? Darwin's Nightmare for Best Doc. Chip in with your own!