Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Those Brokeback recipes in full

Back in London and it's hailing. Nice. I will be tending to my blog as if it were some sort of neglected back garden in the coming days. In the meantime, spare a thought — and maybe a giggle — for those brave cowboys on the Wyoming slopes, buffeted by the elements and urges they can't control. I'm sure this has been doing the rounds like all other slightly dubious Brokeback-related tomfoolery, but I have to admit that it made me howl.


Weekly Grocery Lists for Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist,
Summer 1963, Brokeback Mountain

WEEK ONE
Beans
Bacon
Coffee
Whiskey

WEEK TWO
Beans
Ham
Coffee
Whiskey

WEEK THREE
Beans al fresca
Thin-sliced Bacon
Hazelnut Coffee
Sky vodka & Tanqueray gin
K-Y gel

WEEK FOUR
Beans en salade
Pancetta
Coffee (espresso grind)
5-6 bottles best Chardonnay
2 tubes K-Y gel

WEEK FIVE
Fresh fava beans
Jasmine rice
Prosciutto, approx. 8 ounces, thinly sliced
Medallions of veal
Porcini mushrooms
1/2 pint of heavy whipping cream
1 Cub Scout uniform, size 42 long
5-6 bottles French Bordeaux (Estate Reserve)
1 extra large bottle Astro-glide

WEEK SIX
Yukon Gold potatoes
Heavy whipping cream
Asparagus (very thin)
Organic Eggs
Spanish Lemons
Gruyere cheese (well aged)
Crushed Walnuts
Arugula
Clarified Butter
Extra Virgin Olive oil
Pure Balsamic vinegar
6 yards white silk organdy
6 yards pale ivory taffeta
3 Cases of Dom Perignon Masters Reserve
Large tin Crisco

Now come on. Don't tell me you didn't laugh. Loosen up and embrace the cultural phenomenon, people.

2 comments:

Ginger said...

You forgot the New Mexico firewood that smells gorgeous for those cozy late-night fires, Tim. :)

Will you be explaining the "B" you gave to The Squid and the Whale? So far, I'm the only girl on my block who just did not think it was all that good. You're obviously not wild about it, either, so thanks for making me feel a little less nutty.

tim r said...

Just emailed Nick about this, but people seem interested, so I may expand my thoughts into a full review some time soon. It's a nice little movie, and the perfs are wonderful, but I think people have been going a little crazy about it, and Best Screenplay wouldn't have been my first choice for its Oscar nomination. The characterisation's much too broad for my taste: it's as though Baumbach has negotiated a halfway compromise between Wes Anderson-ish eccentricity on the one hand and the grounded, painful, recognisable reality of something like Alan Parker's Shoot the Moon on the other. I'm not sure he necessarily gives us the best of both worlds, but this is where I part ways with the general consensus...